OK, I’m not swimming the channel, so I was never #waitingforthecall and #shegotthecall is pushing it a bit. But I’m dead pleased with the fact that I got the call from Becky at The Henley Swim letting me know that I was one of the six winners of the This Girl Can 2021 competition.

This phone call couldn’t have arrived at a better time… On the face of it, it was just another day working from home. In reality, my day started with physio via zoom. As per usual it was a gruelling session. Thank heavens it is via zoom; I can cunningly place the camera to just point at my leg and hide the tears out of shot.

I suppose I should put things into a bit more context… at 15 years of age, back in 1989, I was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma – a rare form of bone cancer – on my femur. What followed was a series of operations, procedures and treatments to not only get rid of the cancer but also to save my leg. In order to do so my femur, knee and shin bone was replaced with metal. Even though I have been cancer free since 1993, my last operation was in 2019 to review the shin component of the prosthesis. Whilst I’m grateful for being cancer free, I’ve been struggling with the life beyond a cancer diagnosis. I have had 10 operations in this leg alone, the physical and emotional trauma has led to chronic neuropathic pain which I’m trying my best to come to terms with. In the fog of treatments and horrible prognosis we all fight for survival; now I’m managing survivor’s guilt and wanting quality of life.

Anyways, as I said Becky’s phone call came at a perfect time. The proof that even though life throw us some curve balls, we can always ‘lean in’ and make the best out of a challenging situation. It was the pick me up I needed!

Of course, by the end of the day I had to e-mail Becky to confirm that there was no mistake as my impostor syndrome got the better of me. (Not one of my brightest moments…)

I patiently waited for the announcement in social media. I really didn’t want to jinx this! And before I knew it, some friends were congratulating me and sending me the link to the announcement. They had seen it on Facebook.

I logged into Facebook and before I could find the announcement, I saw a fellow osteosarcoma survivor’s post. She had got the call too. After more than 10 operations and being in constant pain she has opted for an amputation. Whilst many will see this news as a sad outcome, I’m genuinely excited for her. I’m genuinely excited for what her next chapter will look like, pain free and living without the fear of prosthetics rejections, infections, loosenings etc. I know it sounds odd, but it is the truth.

Whilst I can’t possibly, or would wish to, compare this swim challenge with a leg amputation, I noticed the shower of support that we both got on that day from our friends and family. In my case, even unknown well-wishers were wishing me the best of luck. It was truly humbling, and I feel ‘bigger’ than my medical history for the first time in ages. So yes, life throws things at us, and sometimes our options are limited but we can still do something. We all have to move forward, look for opportunities, give our best and show that there is a can in can’t.

Henley, I’m coming for you!

Filipa x